Buhtt sex?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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