I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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