I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
