Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
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Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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