Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
