nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
