he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
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No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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