Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
