I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
