At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
