i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
