She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
