i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
