cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
