my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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