dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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