is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
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I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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