i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
