I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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