If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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