u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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