Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
