oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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