And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My breasts were aching with rage.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
