yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
