u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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