so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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