do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
