The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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