she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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