I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Still dying that you shit outside
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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