SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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