capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
