3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
