Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
