I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
