I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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