you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize