fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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