P.S. I can't hear my feet
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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