Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
and she was petting her beer can
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
