Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Randomize
