every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize