I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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