And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
