I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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