Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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