if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
