Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I love having hate sex.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
