My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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