hell yes lets make some ravioli
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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