I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
