Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize