I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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