Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
