All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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