spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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