You work out of a Hotel?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
