summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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