I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
