windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
