Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
