we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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