there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
please don't ironically join a cult
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