i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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